Fur Coat, No Knickers

The holidays may well be almost over, but if you’re looking for something to read over the next couple of days… I heartily recommend this Guardian article on the Forty Elephants, a vicious all girl gang who terrorised the streets of London way back in the 18th century. WOWSER.

Led by the formidable Diamond Annie (whose punch was famous because it was studded with DIAMOND RINGS!), the forty-strong gang stole jewels and clothes, and were responsible for the biggest shoplifting operation ever seen in Britain.

I mean, just listen to this;

Dressed in specially tailored coats, cummerbunds, muffs, skirts, bloomers and hats sewn with hidden pockets, they mounted raids on London’s West End shops, where they plundered goods worth thousands of pounds.

… On the plus side, they threw the liveliest of parties and spent lavishly at pubs, clubs and restaurants. Their lifestyles were in pursuit of those of glamorous movie stars, combined with the decadent living of 1920s aristocratic flapper society. They read of the outrageous behaviour of rich, bright young things and wanted to emulate them.

Utterly fascinating, and made even more intriguing by the fact that there’s barely anything about them to be found anywhere online. The Guardian feature is actually a mini review of a new book by Brian McDonald, called Gangs of London. After two years covering the true crime desk at Waterstones, I swore I’d never read any more – but if this book promises any more on the Forty Elephants, I might have to change my mind…

The interesting picture at the top is the work of Bert Hardy, whose 1948 photo project, The Elephant and the The Castle is well worth a look.

I’m sure most of you will have already seen photographer James Mollison‘s excellent book, Where Children Sleep. The self-explanatory book has, quite rightly, been written about everywhere this year.

Serving both as an educational tool and discussion point for children , the photographs document the domestic situations of families across the globe. The contrasts are amazing: between children carrying weaponry because they have to fight to live, and kids who LIKE GUNS AND FIGHTING; between little girls of ten that work 9-5 and those whose hardest job is smiling properly for a beauty pageant. Truly fascinating stuff.

Anyway, at this most consumer-tastic time of the year – and, believe me, I’m a dedicated slave to retail so I’m not taking any kind of moral highground – I think it’s important to look at these kind of pictures. Much like Peter Menzel’s amazing What the World Eats project, it’s interesting above all else to see just how different children’s domestic situations are around the world.

Here’s just a small selection – pilfered from the Telegraph website, where you can also read the biography of each child.

Drum roll, please.

Lol.

To get the final look in my somewhat twelve days of Christmas countdown, this Double Breasted Military Sweater, £20, provides the kind of snazzy look that you’d expect from musicians in the Swiss Guard.

I love this putrid lime green, but the jumper is also available in a rather more tasteful red and army-appropriate khaki.

Important as its original message was, there’s no denying that the Keep Calm and Carry On graphic has now become little more than a fad, festooned on every surface imaginable.

Just when I thought there was no possible variation on the phrase left that I could find in any way amusing, Urban Outfitters offer a much more interesting take on the trend with this foil-print Keep Calm and Party On banner. Sage advice, which I’m sure my man Andrew WK would heartily, partily, enforce.

Pipers piping their little hearts out in their kilts and big furry hats must get cold, so whether you’re a bonafide brass musician or just someone who knocks about on the mountains in the cold and rain wearing a short skirt, woolly socks are probably a must.

And who says pipers shouldn’t have some element of style? A semi Nordic Angora Mix Sock Set, £10, should do the trick.

For many, the vision of a man in a white suit will bring about the image of Gareth Gates, stammering his way through his godawful cover of a cover of Unchained Melody, which Wikipedia tells me went double-platinum in the UK, and was voted 2002′s Record of the Year!! What?! To me, however, the White Slim Fit Tuxedo, £64, brings to mind someone far more stylish;

Yeah boi.