Treats for Valentine’s Day non-believers

I call Valentine’s Day a crock of shit. If you’re a similar non-believer, here are some nice, slightly angry things to buy in February as an alternative to heart-shaped kitchen utensils and sexy red polyester lingerie.

These Moi Self hankies have been everywhere lately, but I really like them. Hankies seem to have fallen out of favour of late – and I can sort of see the hygiene reasons – but this would be a nice treat to dab your eyes delicately while squeezing out some ladylike tears. There’s a few designs to choose from and they’re £10 exclusively at My-Wardrobe.


Gin is the maudlin spinster’s drink of choice and the fact this particular beverage is pink SURELY makes it ideal for bemoaning the lack of love in your life? I’ve wanted a bottle of The Bitter Truth‘s booze for ages, so now could be the perfect opportunity to indulge.

I really love the Zap lolly colours on this Topshop jumper, but what I especially like is the studs on the shoulders which kind of make it the anti-hugging sweater. If someone slings their arms around you in this, they’ll pay. It’s £35 and in-store now.

Katie Rowland’s knuckleduster has ‘Love’ on the other side, but no-one else needs to know that. It’s currently on sale at Cocosa – whose jewellery sales are always pretty amazing, but even more so at the moment.

Maria Francesca Pepe is one of my total favourites and is always great for tough, spiky, cross-laden jewellery. If you want to make your point in a slightly more aggressive way, her NO safety pins do the job rather nicely and look smashing at the same time. It’s like a high fashion version of those Velcro letter t-shirts people were obsessed with in sixth form.

If you’re self-indulgently wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself, snap out of it in a suitably boozy fashion with this Urban Outfitters hip-flask. Fill it with pink gin and you’re laughing.

There’s nothing like a bleak book to remind you that love ain’t all it’s cracked up to be and although Penguin’s Great Love series features some slush, it also has a few more doom-and-gloom heavy reads – which are always the best kind, really.

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