This year’s Christmas gift suggestions are based around the varying facets of my personality – because I’m sure that everyone can find a bit of @furcoat inside them if they look hard enough.
I don’t want to toot my horn too much, but I think that ‘finding weird shit on the internet’ would definitely be something I could list under skills on my CV. What can I say, I spend a lot of time fannying around. Today an IS guy had to clear my browsing data and he was like, ‘damn, you have a lot of history’. YEAH I DO, son, yeah I do.
I guess there’s nothing new here, but if you like fannying around on the internet as much as I do, I hope these things appeal. Cats, junk food, craft… it’s what the internet what made for.
1. Bear Highlighters, £3, Paperchase – for when you have to step off the internet and go IRL and print stuff out. (Who even has a printer?)
2. Stonehenge Key Ring, £2.75, English Heritage – I don’t even know, I just want one. If I get one, I promise to do a blogger ~outfit post in front of Stonehenge. I’ll jump and everything.
3. Happy Chopper, £11.97, Rume – who doesn’t love stuff with faces? I’d only cut things in the middle of this dude so that they looked like his nose.
4. Chrissie Abott Cat Mug, £20, Culture Label – it involves a cat.
5. Edible Seeds, £3.95, The Balcony Gardener – why have a garden, or indeed leave the house at all, when you can grow all you need to survive in a window box?
6. MonuMini Barbican Tower statue, £15, Culture Label – the Barbican is Instagram’s favourite building. After the Shard.
7. Marc by Marc Jacobs Katie Bunny USB, £35, Selfridges – USB sticks say a lot about you. My George Forman one says I’m an idiot so I’d like this please.
8. Rufus Bottle Sealer, €8.85, Donkey – dogs and booze, booze and dogs. I spend most of my internet time drinking booze and looking at dogs so… apart from the fact this encourages you not to drink all the wine, it’s basically perfect.
9. Mohzy Loop USB Cable, £7.50, Heal’s – white iPhone chargers are so lame.
10. Burger & Fry Ear Buds, £7, Amazon – I can only imagine how bad the sound quality is, but you’d have a mini burger in your ear and that has to count for something.
11. Rock & Roll Clothes Plasters, £7.99, Jennie Maizels – these just remind me of what I was like when I first got into the internet. I.e. awesome?
12. Fang Clips, £3.50, Tate – I guess the internet likes vampires.
13. Stitching Postcards, £2.50, None Such Things – what better way to plot your travels/world takeover than with good old fashioned needle and thread?