Because pyjamas are not suitable Christmas Day wear

christmas

(clockwise from left)

1. The more deluxe version of pyjamas; all the comfort, but you don’t look like a student. If I woke up to this on Christmas day, I’d probably cry snowball-scented tears of joy. Then drop mince-pie crumbs all over myself.

2. Because if the Fonz, John Travolta and Joey Ramone taught us anything, it’s that everyone looks like a badass in a leather jacket. (And I don’t subscribe to the idea that Christmas day should be spent entirely indoors; a quick shuffle round the block makes more room for pigs in blankets.)

3. To wear when you’re doing the aforementioned shuffling.

4. For when you go to the local for a drink and some weird boy from school tries to hit on you. Hit him with this.

5. Christmas shoes!! Again, I don’t subscribe to the idea of rolling around like a student/sloth hybrid on Christmas day. I see it as a perfect excuse to go all out and generally pick a ~party dress (yes, I am Veruca Salt) months in advance. These shiny, shiny shoes are a prime example of my approach to festive dressing.

6. Got to have socks for Christmas, and if you’re going home and acting like a teenager again, why not have the socks to match? Wear these to: slam your door, refuse to set the table, shout “I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN” and sulk. Or to be helpful and happy in your family’s company, whatever.

7. My lipstick of the year by a million miles. Makes you look awake, alert and put-together even if the opposite is true (and is just a gloriously festive shade).

8. My theory of wearing big jewellery to distract from your face holds especially true over the festive season. These ASOS janglers are not just sparkly and lovely, they also kind of match the socks on that ‘things that you would wear in 1998’ theme.

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All I want for Christmas…

crimblols

Top to bottom

1. Gasius Hawaiian shirt, £55 at Goodhood – pizza, pineapples, Hawaii. All my favourite things on one shirt, from my favourite shop.

2. Hair: Fashion to Fantasy by Laurent Philippon, £24.95 at Thames & Hudson – even if you’re not into hair as much as I am, this is a fantastic and beautiful book that covers history and pop culture as much as barnets. HUGELY recommend it.

*TOKEN CHRISTMAS EXPENSIVE CANDLE*

3. Bella Freud 1970 candle, £38 at Space NK – the first time I realised the joy an overpriced candle could bring was at a Bella Freud for Biba show, which was held at the wonderful Freemason’s Hall and scented by Diptyque Baies Noir candles. That’s probs my all-time fave, but this one by Bella sounds like it might smell vaguely similar with black musk and patchouli. Yum.

*END OF TOKEN CHRISTMAS EXPENSIVE CANDLE*

4.  Yves Saint Laurent Limited Edition Blush Palette, £29.50 at Debenhams – makeup is always a tricky one at Christmas, but I don’t imagine anyone would be unhappy with this. The YSL Christmas palettes are always things of beauty and really, super-pink suits everyone.

5. Clear Clutch Bag With Internal Glitter Purse, £30 at ASOS – Perspex clutch gets a sense of humour. Also means the world won’t see your tampons.

6. Eye Ring, £28 at Maria Francesca Pepe – it’s not Christmas without a MFP wishlist. I’d like one for each finger.

7. Maui Big Swell IPA, £3.50 at Beermerchants – I sort of can’t bear how expensive it is, but I still would be delighted to find a can of this in my stocking. That’s two Hawaiian things on my list. Number three is a flight back.

8. Glitter Bunny Ear Scrunchie, £4 at Topshop – at that price, you should get one in every colour. Best case for the revival of the scrunchie I’ve seen.

9. Cicely Courtneidge pocket mirror, £4, National Portrait Gallery – feel bad about yourself every time you look in the mirror by comparing yourself to the impossibly wonderful Cicely Courtneidge. Also available: Barbara Cartland, Gladys Cooper and Gabrielle Ray.

10. Bat Mobile Phone Cover, £9.99 at Zara – the one thing on this list that I will sulk forever about if I don’t get for Christmas.

Furcoat Christmas: omg the internet

This year’s Christmas gift suggestions are based around the varying facets of my personality – because I’m sure that everyone can find a bit of @furcoat inside them if they look hard enough.

I don’t want to toot my horn too much, but I think that ‘finding weird shit on the internet’ would definitely be something I could list under skills on my CV. What can I say, I spend a lot of time fannying around. Today an IS guy had to clear my browsing data and he was like, ‘damn, you have a lot of history’. YEAH I DO, son, yeah I do.

I guess there’s nothing new here, but if you like fannying around on the internet as much as I do, I hope these things appeal. Cats, junk food, craft… it’s what the internet what made for.

cooooool

1. Bear Highlighters, £3, Paperchase – for when you have to step off the internet and go IRL and print stuff out. (Who even has a printer?)

2. Stonehenge Key Ring, £2.75, English Heritage – I don’t even know, I just want one. If I get one, I promise to do a blogger ~outfit post in front of Stonehenge. I’ll jump and everything.

3. Happy Chopper, £11.97, Rume – who doesn’t love stuff with faces? I’d only cut things in the middle of this dude so that they looked like his nose.

4. Chrissie Abott Cat Mug, £20, Culture Label – it involves a cat.

5. Edible Seeds, £3.95, The Balcony Gardener – why have a garden, or indeed leave the house at all, when you can grow all you need to survive in a window box?

6. MonuMini Barbican Tower statue, £15, Culture Label – the Barbican is Instagram’s favourite building. After the Shard.

7. Marc by Marc Jacobs Katie Bunny USB, £35, Selfridges – USB sticks say a lot about you. My George Forman one says I’m an idiot so I’d like this please.

8. Rufus Bottle Sealer, €8.85, Donkey – dogs and booze, booze and dogs. I spend most of my internet time drinking booze and looking at dogs so… apart from the fact this encourages you not to drink all the wine, it’s basically perfect.

9. Mohzy Loop USB Cable, £7.50, Heal’s – white iPhone chargers are so lame.

10. Burger & Fry Ear Buds, £7, Amazon – I can only imagine how bad the sound quality is, but you’d have a mini burger in your ear and that has to count for something.

11. Rock & Roll Clothes Plasters, £7.99, Jennie Maizels – these just remind me of what I was like when I first got into the internet. I.e. awesome?

12. Fang Clips, £3.50, Tate – I guess the internet likes vampires.

13. Stitching Postcards, £2.50, None Such Things – what better way to plot your travels/world takeover than with good old fashioned needle and thread?

Furcoat Christmas: My spiritual home is Vegas

This year’s Christmas gift suggestions are based around the varying facets of my personality – because I’m sure that everyone can find a bit of @furcoat inside them if they look hard enough.

In January I’m going back to Las Vegas for a fifth time. It’s for work, but what can I say? Any opportunity to gamble, drink margaritas in a swimming pool and take photos of neon signs and I find it hard to say no.

As well as making me a lucky (/irritating) beggar, I think my love of Vegas also says something about how much I love corny crap. I know plenty of people who go to Sin City more than I do for work and who hate it with a passion.

I, on the other hand, can’t get enough of it. The chemists with beer rooms in the back, the extremely efficient room service, the weddings in the street, the novelty oversized beverage containers… It’s my spiritual home.

vegas

1. Beaded Sequin Balcony Bra, £40, Topshop – everyone in Vegas should be wearing sparkly underthings, whether they’re on display or not.

2. Joey Glass Necklace, £28, Kurt Geiger – mmm holographic magic gems.

3. Acrylic Pom Pom Hat, $39, Marc by Marc Jacobs – does it even get cold enough for hats in Vegas?

4. Leather All Over Stud Gloves, £26, ASOS – Elvis gloves.

5. Noir Sunglasses, £225, Miu Miu – still really want these. God bless pink glitter.

6. Petite Gem Bead Cami, £36, Topshop – Elvis jumpsuit in slinky cami form. (Also available in non-petit.)

7. Fishs Eddy Bar Recipe Glasses, £24, Liberty – love the 50s style illustrations on these – true old school Vegas, without the sticky carpets and nanny gamblers. And, obv, they feature cocktail recipes. So all good.

8. Pearl and Stone Cross Drop Earrings, £12.50, Miss Selfridge – sparkly AND gothic.

9. Elvis Holiday Ornament Set, $24.99, ShopElvis – all Elvis, all the time. Can you IMAGINE what I’ll be like in Memphis?

10. Gold Glitter Alphabet, £3, Paperchase – gold sparkly letters to make everything in life that bit more Vegassy.

11. Wing-Time Buffalo Wing Sauce, £5.75, Harvey Nichols – for a spicy taste of America at home. A spicy, spicy taste. I could eat wings for Christmas dinner, dunno about anyone else.

12. Markus Lupfer Sequinned Initial Brooch, £15, Net-A-Porter – love anything personalised and this comes in glitter format. Sure you could DIY this but who wouldn’t be happy to unwrap a Net-A-Porter box at Christmas, eh?

13. Charbonnel et Walker Sea Salt Caramel Truffles, £9.95, House of Fraser – pigging out is part and parcel of a trip Stateside and I could happily scarf this whole box of salty goo in one mouthful. Hmm.

14. Nail Rock Digital Jewel Print Nail Wraps, £6.70, ASOS – SPARKLES on your nails that would last the entire time you’re in the desert, no matter how many wings you eat, chips you juggle or how many plug holes of vom you have to unblock. No idea where that came from, never done that.

15. Rhinestone Tweezer & and Eyelash Curler Set, £3.90, Forever 21 – wanted these for ages. Hologram magic metal AND rhinestones. Doesn’t get much more high-end than that, does it?

[Liberal sugar mice, £2.99, Fudge Factory – lol etc]

Furcoat Christmas: 1920s bore

This year’s Christmas gift suggestions are based around the varying facets of my personality – because I’m sure that everyone can find a bit of @furcoat inside them if they look hard enough.

Today’s topic; the 1920s. Because I think we all know my feelings on that. So then, presents for modern day flappers and those equally obsessed with the era of gin, jazz and Fitzgerald.

1920s themed gifts

1. International Hygiene Convention Print, £11, Culture Label – actually dates from 1911 but that navy and gold and big ol’ eye still do it for me.

2. Vintage Flask, €8, Etsy – again this actually is dated 1977 but hell, that pattern is pretty deco  and secret booze is basically the point of my 20s obsession.

3. Art Deco London by Colin Hines, £9.99, English Heritage – like an I-Spy book for art deco obsessed adults.

4. FEW Standard Issue Navy Strength Gin, £36.95, Whisky Exchange – it wouldn’t be a 1920s Christmas without gin.

5. Butter London Nail Lacquer in Jack the Lad, £12, Harvey Nichols – moss green with gold flecks is way cooler than red for Christmas, don’t you think?

6. Sagaform Shot and Decanter Set, £24, Heal’s – see number 4.

7. Brooch Bandeau Headband, £10, Topshop – turbans are top, especially when they are the same colour as your hair. This would also come in handy when you’re trying to wash your face at someone’s house and you resort to using your t-shirt pulled back over your head.

8. Whistles Taylor Statement Earrings, £30, ASOS – geometric design, gold, black stone = winning combination for a wannabe flappery type.

9. Pompon Slipper, £29.99, Zara Home – slippers are another Christmas essential I reckon and these fluffy pompoms are more sophisticated than the leopard-print woolly boot things I’m currently wearing. I mean they’re basically UGGS. What am I? A monster? These are much more stylish and imagine how smashing they’d look with some proper pyjamas and that turban. IMAGINE.

10. Rose Embroidered Kimono, £58, Topshop – I have the blouse version of this and it looks so fancy IRL. This could probably do with some fringing to look really 20s, but otherwise it pretty much looks the part. The kind of thing that magazines would describe as being the perfect way to dress up jeans. I would never say such a thing but you can draw your own conclusions.

11. Cat Mask, £7, V&A – I went to a party at the splendidly art deco London masonic hall once wearing this. The cat’s pyjamas of dressing up options.

12. Art Deco iPhone Case, $20, Etsy – what any self-respecting flapper would protect her iPhone with, were she transported to 2012.

13. The Parade Tarot Cards, £55, Hermes – because I reckon Lita from Twilight Sleep (Edith Warton, 1927) would want them.

14. Charlotte Olympia Lunatic Leather Clutch, £395, Net-A-Porter – if anyone fancied blowing their load on me this Christmas, I would like it blowing in this direction.

Furcoat Christmas: Book bonanza

This year’s Christmas gift suggestions are based around the varying facets of my personality – because I’m sure that everyone can find a bit of @furcoat inside them if they look hard enough.

Yesterday it was all about embracing your inner, and indeed outer, goth. Thanks for the nice comments and tweets about it!

Today it’s one of my main loves in life – and something that I definitely don’t need any more of, really – books.

You can buy any of the books below through my Christmas Amazon bookstore and don’t forget that you can also buy my all-time favourites here and see what I’m currently reading here.

These are mostly 2012 releases, but there’s a few sneaky extra things in there too that are kind of relevant. Enjoy and stay tuned for more pieces o’ me this week.

books-rule

Top row, left to right.

1. Kate: The Kate Moss Book, £42.50 – millions of pictures of the Mossatron. I hope this one is included.

2. The Persephone Book of Short Stories, £14 – I’ve never met a Persephone I didn’t like and this new anthology is basically guaranteed to be brilliant.

3. The Glitter and the Gold by Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, £6.29 – I read this week that Julian Fellowes’ next project is The Gilded Age – a book about the millionaires of 1880s New York. Read up on the real world of high society American heiresses with Consuelo Vanderbilt’s totally fascinating autobiography which was published in 1953, but republished recently.

4. French Riveria: Living Well Was the Best Revenge by Xavier Girard, from £30 – I’ve been after a book on the history of the American exodus to the French Riviera in the 1920s for ages and even though this one seems kind of hard to get hold of, it looks like it might do the job. I can’t find much about it, but I’m hoping it’s full of tales of the real life Dick Divers of this world.

Middle row, left to right.

5. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald, £4.89 – speaking of Dick Diver… Obviously I own this already, but Alma Classics have given it – and the rest of Fitzgerald’s books – a jazzy new cover which makes it look rather nice.

6. Daughter of Empire by Lady Pamela Hicks, £11.80 – I always like an old aristocratic lady’s biography and this one from the Queen’s BFF is apparently full of lols. I read a great interview with her recently and she seems like a jolly old raconteur so I’m sure it’ll be a good Christmas book – the kind of one I read in bed when I’m dozing off the cheese and port and don’t really need to concentrate.

7. Vidal Sassoon: How One Man Changed the World with a Pair of Scissors by Vidal Sassoon and Michael Gordon, £19.20 – we lost a good man in Vidal this year and this book seems like a good way of remembering him. Amazing graphics too.

8. Dressed to Kill: Virgina’s Jazz Age Fashion by Daisy Bates and Virginia Bates, £28.80 – it’s a book about 1920s fashion. Say no more.

Bottom row, left to right.

9. Polpo: A Venetian Cookbook (of Sorts) by Russell Norman – mmm Polpo. Asparagus with Parmesan and anchovy butter; crispy baby pizzas with prosciutto and rocket; scallops with lemon and peppermint; mackerel tartare; linguine with clams; soft-shell crab in Parmesan batter with fennel salad; walnut and honey semifreddo; tiramisù; fizzy bellinis. I mean…

10. Dracula by Bram Stoker (Penguin English Library Edition), £4.79 – going to Whitby for new year, so it seems only right to re-read this and the English Library Editions all look pretty good as an added bonus.

11. Lost World: England 1933-36 by Dorothy Hartley, £9.60 – talked about this back here and would love to get hold of this new edition. Nice cover, eh?

12. Gatsby Cocktails by Ben Reed, £5.24 – looks a bit cheesy maybe but this new cocktail book features a good selection of 20s and 30s recipes, including some less-known ones. Mine’s a gimlet.